Dating a man who has a child
Recognise that a father’s love for his children is paramount, or should be.
Trying to compete with children for their dad’s affection is a catastrophic strategy that will end in tears – yours.
Wait for them to come to you.”The advice came from my dear friend Jennifer, who has a stepfamily of her own and understands that it takes time and patience to blend and bond. Months later, in a quiet moment, I told the girls as much, and let them know it’s OK to have any range of feelings about all this.
But life had gotten busy, and for a few days I was swiping right on Coffee Meets Bagel without my normal due diligence. Both seemed nice, but I was having trouble keeping them... Like a puppy dog, I wanted to cuddle up to them and play, but I remembered her advice not to overwhelm them, so I pretended like this was all no big deal, and tried to find the feline inside.
“He’s a director,” I told my friend L., absently fiddling with the lighter in my hand. We went to Club 33 at Disneyland and he treated me to couples massages and pool time at the Four Seasons spa. I was starting to wonder what our relationship would look like when it became a story for four, instead of two.
He gave me tennis lessons and I dragged him to yoga class. But my favorite thing was always cuddling on the couch and talking.
Knowing that I was moving back to a small town after years of living in cities, I looked at my therapist and said: "I can't date someone who has children. And while I was in love with both the man and the kid, I was totally lost. There is nothing wrong with single or divorced parents. But my friends back home in the small town I was moving back to? He had a son with his ex-girlfriend, who I also remember from my past.
I was in a relationship with a man who had a 10-year-old son. I was 29 years old, and the majority of my friends in Chicago were childless or childfree, whichever term you prefer. I knew that by moving back here, I was inviting many children into my day-to-day life -- and probably my love life, too. Despite all of my fears, I reconnected with this man from my youth.
It's not fair to the kids if you aren't going to stick around.
The same rules apply in reverse if you are a man keen on a woman who has children.
It’s no big deal, but failure to tread softly can kill off a potentially brilliant romance. This is a concept that is sometimes hard for people who aren’t parents to understand.
Here are some tips to help get you through this situation. Dating a guy with a child isn’t the same as dating a guy without one.
They have different obligations and aren’t looking for women to walk in and out of their life. If you’re still in the phase of getting drunk every weekend and spending your Sundays in bed sobering up, then you’re not ready.So, before you agree to a second date with this guy, seriously think about what you want, because this isn’t only about you anymore.